I created the multicoloured monsters you see after being asked to speak at an event I'd shown up late to, wearing a monster t-shirt.  Not realising this and focusing on the message of Reaction Intelligence with 5 minutes' notice, many people came up to me afterwards and said how fitting the "monster within" was on my t-shirt!  I think we all have a little monster inside, waiting to come out with the slightest provocation.  Yet when you understand him and where he's coming from (or she!) it learns to calm down and let you be.  Mine is called Dai (pronounced Di), what's yours?

No. Traditional EI teaches you to "manage" all your emotions the same way. Reaction Intelligence teaches you that there are four different types of reactions, and each requires a completely different approach. Most importantly, it shows you that only ONE type is actually causing problems in your life—so you stop wasting energy on reactions that are working perfectly.

Therapy often focuses on processing past trauma and understanding the emotions around past events. Reaction Intelligence focuses on understanding what type of reaction you're having right now and what to do about it. While this is not therapy, it can be very therapeutic when you stop reacting to the same events and people and realise you don't have to ever again!

Yes. What you call "anger issues" are usually Type 4 reactions—broken alarm systems responding to perceived threats that aren't actually there, or your Self state interpreting neutral situations as attacks. Once you understand which BE state is triggering the anger and whether it's a Type 1 (accurate) or Type 4 (broken alarm) reaction, AND how to interrupt and change the pattern, you're anger can disappear entirely. Several readers have specifically mentioned managing anger better after learning the system. (It did for me around my mother)

The system works for any emotional pattern that's causing problems. Anxiety is often your Safety or Clarity states being inappropriately triggered—your system thinks you're in danger or confused when you're actually safe and have enough information. Depression can involve being "afflicted" (stuck in patterns) rather than "affected" (processing and moving forward). Understanding the mechanics helps you address the root cause rather than just managing symptoms.

Most people report recognising their reaction patterns within the first day of reading. Actually interrupting those patterns consistently takes practice—usually 1-2 weeks before you start catching yourself in real-time, and 4-6 weeks before it becomes more automatic. But unlike therapy that can take years, you'll have the complete framework within hours of starting.

Understanding the system helps you regardless of who's reactive. You'll recognise their reaction types, understand which BE states are triggered, and know how to avoid escalating patterns. That said, the biggest changes happen when someone learns the system for themselves. You might consider getting it for them (or sharing your copy if they're interested after seeing your changes).

I'm a parent. Will this help with my kids?

Absolutely. The Parenting guide specifically addresses understanding your children's BE states and reaction types. You'll stop taking their behaviour personally, know which reactions need intervention vs. which need space, and model emotional precision they can learn from. Many parents say this was the missing piece in understanding their kids' meltdowns.

I also recommend looking at my book "The Connection Code" for both of these situations and associated digital bundle and course.

Due to the digital nature of the product, we don't offer refunds once you've accessed the materials. Once you download the PDFs and ePub files, you have the complete system—we can't "take back" that knowledge. This is standard for digital information products.

That said, we're confident this system will be valuable to you. The frameworks have helped thousands of people gain emotional precision they didn't have before. 

Why can't I get a refund?

We'd love to offer one, but digital products are different from physical goods. Once you've downloaded and read the content, you have access to the complete intellectual property. Unlike a physical book you can return, digital files can be kept even after a refund, which isn't sustainable for a small business. We price fairly and stand behind the value of the content.

What if I don't like it or it doesn't work for me?

The frameworks are based on how emotional systems actually work, but we acknowledge that not every approach resonates with everyone. If after reading you feel it's not for you, you're welcome to share feedback—we genuinely want to know what didn't work. While we can't offer refunds, we do update and improve the materials based on reader feedback.

Most people who say this have tried things that teach emotional management (breathe, count to 10, be mindful). This system is different—it teaches emotional precision. You'll learn to tell the difference between reactions that need management and reactions that need different approaches entirely. The reason "nothing works" is usually because you're using the same tool (management) for four different types of problems without understanding what's actually causing the reaction (Core need, experience loop or something else covered in the content).

Can this really change patterns I've had for years?

Yes. Not because it's magic, but because patterns persist when you don't understand their mechanics. Once you see how Experience Loops work and where the five intervention points are, you can interrupt patterns that have run automatically for decades. It's not about willpower—it's about understanding the system well enough to use leverage points.

What if I'm too far gone or too damaged?

You're not. The system is based on how emotional reactions work in all humans—it's not calibrated for "mild" vs "severe" cases. Whether you're someone who gets slightly irritated sometimes or someone who has explosive rage regularly, the mechanics are the same. You're dealing with the same four BE states and four reaction types. The intensity might differ, but the framework applies equally.

In this situation I'd recommend reading the Emotional Spectrum Guide too as it covers over 30 common emotions and how to break them down so you understand what could be triggering them internally.